Maybe it's the existential place I'm in as I quickly approach my "dirty 30," or the cabin fever finally setting in deep enough after quarantining myself for four straight days now from the rest of human civilization while I fight off strain # 274,961,354 of the illtakeyouthefuckdown cold that's been so prevalent this season. Whatever it is, I can guarantee it's not because of the awesome meds my doctor gave me yesterday (although I wish I could attribute it to that if it meant my head would deflate from the size a Betty Boop balloon back to normal and my nasal drip would stop competing with the flow of Niagara Falls).
But I digress (get used to that).
What I'm talking about is why in the hell I've decided that now is the time to blow the dust off the ol' blog that hasn't been in existence for several years. Welp, (yes, Marc...that IS how it's spelled) the answer is....
drum roll please...
Meh. I don't know. And I don't really need to know. I just need to know that my head is full of zipping thoughts.
I often find that the process of moving the thoughts from my head to my fingers allows for me to slow my brain enough to make sense of the jumbled mess that currently resembles what a new knitting project would look like if a kitten got a hold of it (I don't know why that popped in my head, but it's a relatively accurate visual of my brain activity right now). I will put the disclaimer out there that my last blog entries were for the soul purpose of checking in and allowing my family and friends to rest easy knowing that I wasn't whisked away to the red light district while traveling solo in Southeast Asia. Any entries here on out, however, are simply to express what can't be summed up in a Spacebook update or chirped in a Tweeter message (I'm pretty sure I just nailed the social media lingo right there...bam!). No, This is simply my process, with a couple seeds for planting in your own brain...if you so choose. That is all. In fact, you can chalk up blogs as annoying and close this window right now and I won't know the difference or even care for that matter. That's the glory of these here interwebs. Perceived freedom to see and do what we please.
So off we go...
BOSTON.
Yes, I know it's on everyone's minds. Yes, I know FB was littered with "prayers" and kind thoughts, etc. for all those affected by the absolutely horrific events that occurred yesterday. I myself had to turn off NPR and the computer all together at 5 pm, open all the doors and windows of this little space called home, and let the sunshine and spring air wrap me in the security of the good in the world today. I won't Mister Rogers you since we all know by now what his mother told him (if you don't know, go to a friend of a friend of a friend's Facebook page and I guarantee you'll find it), but I will say that I was reminded yesterday of just how much good there is in this little life we're all living...you just have to choose to let that be your focus.
I watched my dog a lot today. Not in the way I usually do. Normally she's commanding my attention by being the little tweaker that that she is, herding me in circles or violently heaving her frisbee at me until she's so tuckered I swear her little legs will fall off. No, today I watched her in appreciation of the way she lives in every moment. The peanut butter lick with her morning antibiotic pill was the best ever...just like yesterday's was "the best ever." She laid on her bed this afternoon and took in each and every one of the scents sprinkling their way in through the open window, her nose twitching back and forth, eyebrows reacting to the smell of tacos wafting through the air or the "this is my sign post" message left by the black lab that walked by this morning. On our afternoon walk she frolicked about with her little nub of a bunny tail cruisin' at easily 200 rpm's. She picked up sticks, threw them at me, dove into the fast and cold river water chasing them, lost them, moved on to the next stick, lost that one (this continued on until she cleared the whole beach of sticks. Eyesight isn't her strong suit), and generally gallivanted about as her usual happy self. Life was simple. She had me, I had her, and life was good because quite simply, we were living. And it made me think (go figure), that animals don't live life knowing the're going to die. Or rather perhaps they know, but they certainly don't live their lives thinking about it. Every moment is just as it should be because they aren't focused on yesterday, tomorrow, or even the inevitable end. They are simply living. And that is all they need.
I know our worlds have been rocked by the tragic deaths of many just this year alone. The acts of continued senseless violence are not only deeply saddening, but they shake our foundation of safety and freedom that we all rely so heavily on. That is, our "perceived" sense of safety and freedom. Yes, I am lucky to have been raised in an environment where I don't need to armor up to let my dog outside at 2 am. Where I can go for a run in the dark past 7 pm as a single female, and I can walk to the grocery store at 10 pm for a pint of B&J's if I so choose with no worries (thankfully, I'm lactose intolerant or I'd easily be 450 lbs because that there cookie dough rocks my world). But that can all just as easily be taken away from me at any point. My perceived sense of security is just that: perceived. When something unexpected shakes our world, our security blanket is stripped from us and we're exposed. Vulnerable. It's easy then to grasp onto the notion of control and never want to let it go. We begin to live our lives in routine, thinking that somehow allows for more safety because it simple lessens the chance of feeling uncomfortable. But when we choose to let fear define us, we begin to lose the option of truly living.
I can't live my life in fear, just as you and you and you can't (yes, I'm giving YOU the Uncle Sam finger point). We can only choose to live. Sure, I'm well aware of how cliche that sounds but it's so simple when you really pare it down. And I don't mean in the way of, "hey, if you don't like your job, what are you doing wasting your life?! Quit it!" No...that's just nonsense. Mostly, because a lot of us have shitloads of debt. But hey, how about this: If you really don't like your job, then just don't make it your life! There is so much to life that we let fly by us. If we really are doing it right, we'll be sad to let it go, to knowingly part with the adventure when we feel it coming to an end. But we won't be living KNOWING the end is coming...because, as Rags (my dog) so (not) eloquently exhibits, that is not truly living.
So relish in the small things.
Let the juicy peach run down your arm in the summer without racing to stop it from "ruining" your shirt.
Take naps.
Sit in the sunshine, on the ground, without worrying about getting yourself dirty.
GET yourself dirty (it feels damn good).
Walk in the rain.
Hand write notes to those you love (never underestimate the power of a handwritten note).
Spread kindness (buy someone a coffee, leave $ in a washing machine, leave a flower on a car, buy the postman a hot drink in the winter, volunteer, or compliment a stranger).
Smile.
Hug dogs.
Eat mangoes.
Cherish your friendships
Run fast, and slow, and feel yourself breathing simply because you can.
Love. A lot.
Eat real food.
Eat fresh guacamole. Don't be afraid to ask for another serving.
Paint, even if you think you're terrible.
Roll in fresh grass and embrace the stains.
Let yourself be silly.
Let yourself fall to pieces...then rebuild.
Eat local raw honey by the spoonfuls (what?? Who would do that? Ummm...not me).
Do things that make you uncomfortable...every damn day!
Ride a bicycle (I'll push mountain biking on you eventually, but I'll leave it at that for now).
Climb trees.
Climb mountains.
Take good care of each other.
Read.
Get lost in the woods.
And FEEL. Let yourself feel vulnerable, scared, terrified, afraid. Just let it be there. Let it be known, and accept it. We can't take away the bad. We don't have that much power. We can only incorporate it into who we are.
Live simply (thank you, Patagonia, for forever commercializing that lovely phrase...boo on you). Choose consciously to find delight, love, and soul raising practices each day while accepting the negatives that we just can't control. I mean, just ask Rags. She didn't get that pork chop she wanted tonight, but boy did she delight in that single almond she got after dinner (I know this because she chewed that one damn nut easily 92 times...and even left a nib for my bare foot to step on. So sweet of her!).
Now go eat that mango,
A
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Friday, November 26, 2010
Failure is an option, giving up is not
Reflecting back: I should have seen one of these days coming. I had had too many "successful " travel days in a row which,looking back, probably made me overly confident. I suppose i should have seen the warning signs when I boarded the plane from Krabi to Bangkok and realized I was seated next to the most annoyingly overly affectionate and obnoxiously giggly couple this side of Southeast Asia (at least). In fact, I blame it all (the entire day) on them. Had I not been so disgusted by their canoodling everytime they checked off a person on their "to buy for" list, I wouldn't have been so desperately anxious to bolt off the plane the second the seatbelt sign was no longer illuminated. That's where it all began.
"Ding!" Round 1. Exit the plane. Breathe an intense sigh of relief to have escaped the honeymooners. Casually stroll to the nearest coffee shop until.. Wait! My artwork. My soul candy! No! It's still on the plane! I run back, 60 lb backpack thumping up and down on my spine, daypack strapped my front like swaddling a child.
They (the high flying gate keepers- such a powerful bunch really) refuse to grant me access. Damnn. "ok, think fast." I run to the security officer (they must speak English, right?). Negative. Coffee man? Think again. Tourist agent? Ummm...good enough. "4 floors." ok. I hussle as much as the escalators packed w/elderly people will allow. Finally, I spot the AirAsia sign. In my best simplistic, kindergarten style English possible, I explain what i left in the plane.
"already left."
"no, no. I was just there."
"yes, yes. Gone. Back in 6 hours."
enter crying spell #1.
"ohhhhhh, no cry."
"yes I cry. YES!"
this was my soul candy...gone. Sola (the artist) made that piece for me. It was my also my first real piece of artwork I had ever purchaed and so much work went into the process of the aquisition if this piece. Yes, I cried like a babe.
So, I did what any emotional and defeated female would do in a foreign country...I headed for the nearest Starbucks to seek comfort in a Venti whatchamacallit and a heaping slice of addthistoyourthighs. After realizing that what I really needed was a Beng Beng and my artwork back, I ventured to the bus station to book my ticket for my 9 hour journey North (mind you this was following a 2.5 hour boat ride that began at 530am, and a 2 hr flight with the Jones'). After purchasing my ticket sucessfully (or so I thought) I reluctantly sauntered my way to 7/11 country to forage anything that looked remotely edible. Mind you, nothing has nutrition facts here (something i rely heavily on) and everything is written in worm (translation:Thai). Although I pride myself on being an adventureous eater, I must say my thrill seeking radar was at an all time low and so I opted for Gummy Bears and a yoghurt (you know, fruit and protein categories, right?). I still had 3 hours to kill and so my gummies and I took to holding up a wall and observed the following for a bit:
1) I've never known so much food to be consumed directly from a bag. Soda included.
2) I never been in a place where the whole world stops when the national anthem plays. I too now stop.
3) i have no idea what anyone us saying
4) oh look! Another fallang (foreigner)!!
5) I could really go for a Beng Beng
6) I never seen so many pairs of hideous high heels (Claire's style)
...I could go on.
Fast forward to 20:30 (8:30pm). I board the bus, am escorted to seat A1. Greet my neighbor, open my blanket and settle in for the journey.
Enter the stewardess.
She asks for my ticket which I proudly provide thinking, "sorry sucker, this seat us taken."
hmmmmmm...
She points. My ticket says 21/11/2010.
It's supposed to say 19/11/2010.
Red flag.
No English - red flag #2, bus departing in 10 minutes and I'm being thrown off. Long story short, when I told the ticket lady I needed a bus for "today," she booked me for one in 2 days. Yup. Love the language barrier. Now the bus is full, and me and my 2 backpacks, all the bagged good you can imagine, the patriotic citizens, And the high heeled galaxy, are stuck in Bangkok.
"Ding!" enter crying spell. Round 2 (as enbarassing as it is).
Before I could take action, I thought it best to seek comfort on my Western ways again and did what any sulking American would...I made a beeline for the closest KFC (albeit passing by the Dunkin Donuts on the way). Luckily, the short jaunt pressed sense into me and I settled for a Beng Beng detour. Mmmmm...
Refocused and ready to conquer the day (Beng Bengs effect me much like Wheaties)I studied my Thai phrase book and approached the ticket counter ready for a war of words. Although the war wasn't necessary, I did successfully navigate getting myself on the next bus which would arrive in Uttaradit the following day. Good enough.
Settled back in with the high heel goers and the flourescent lights of the endless 7 Elevens, I crossed my fingers hoping my hand would soon be raised to take victory over this day.
...and 8 hours (and 5 random stops in the middle of the night later), I claimed victory over 11/19/2010 as I watched sun rise and the eles trumpet to welcome me to the most peaceful place on earth. A place where love (and food) is served on platters as nourishment for the soul, high heels are nonexistent, Bengs Bengs aren't needed as stress is limited, and the time the world stops is to fully embrace the peace and joy pulsating through the veins of these once pained and scarred pure souls. A place where days like yesterday fade away b/c in the end, all that matters is the present.
Peace,
Me
"Ding!" Round 1. Exit the plane. Breathe an intense sigh of relief to have escaped the honeymooners. Casually stroll to the nearest coffee shop until.. Wait! My artwork. My soul candy! No! It's still on the plane! I run back, 60 lb backpack thumping up and down on my spine, daypack strapped my front like swaddling a child.
They (the high flying gate keepers- such a powerful bunch really) refuse to grant me access. Damnn. "ok, think fast." I run to the security officer (they must speak English, right?). Negative. Coffee man? Think again. Tourist agent? Ummm...good enough. "4 floors." ok. I hussle as much as the escalators packed w/elderly people will allow. Finally, I spot the AirAsia sign. In my best simplistic, kindergarten style English possible, I explain what i left in the plane.
"already left."
"no, no. I was just there."
"yes, yes. Gone. Back in 6 hours."
enter crying spell #1.
"ohhhhhh, no cry."
"yes I cry. YES!"
this was my soul candy...gone. Sola (the artist) made that piece for me. It was my also my first real piece of artwork I had ever purchaed and so much work went into the process of the aquisition if this piece. Yes, I cried like a babe.
So, I did what any emotional and defeated female would do in a foreign country...I headed for the nearest Starbucks to seek comfort in a Venti whatchamacallit and a heaping slice of addthistoyourthighs. After realizing that what I really needed was a Beng Beng and my artwork back, I ventured to the bus station to book my ticket for my 9 hour journey North (mind you this was following a 2.5 hour boat ride that began at 530am, and a 2 hr flight with the Jones'). After purchasing my ticket sucessfully (or so I thought) I reluctantly sauntered my way to 7/11 country to forage anything that looked remotely edible. Mind you, nothing has nutrition facts here (something i rely heavily on) and everything is written in worm (translation:Thai). Although I pride myself on being an adventureous eater, I must say my thrill seeking radar was at an all time low and so I opted for Gummy Bears and a yoghurt (you know, fruit and protein categories, right?). I still had 3 hours to kill and so my gummies and I took to holding up a wall and observed the following for a bit:
1) I've never known so much food to be consumed directly from a bag. Soda included.
2) I never been in a place where the whole world stops when the national anthem plays. I too now stop.
3) i have no idea what anyone us saying
4) oh look! Another fallang (foreigner)!!
5) I could really go for a Beng Beng
6) I never seen so many pairs of hideous high heels (Claire's style)
...I could go on.
Fast forward to 20:30 (8:30pm). I board the bus, am escorted to seat A1. Greet my neighbor, open my blanket and settle in for the journey.
Enter the stewardess.
She asks for my ticket which I proudly provide thinking, "sorry sucker, this seat us taken."
hmmmmmm...
She points. My ticket says 21/11/2010.
It's supposed to say 19/11/2010.
Red flag.
No English - red flag #2, bus departing in 10 minutes and I'm being thrown off. Long story short, when I told the ticket lady I needed a bus for "today," she booked me for one in 2 days. Yup. Love the language barrier. Now the bus is full, and me and my 2 backpacks, all the bagged good you can imagine, the patriotic citizens, And the high heeled galaxy, are stuck in Bangkok.
"Ding!" enter crying spell. Round 2 (as enbarassing as it is).
Before I could take action, I thought it best to seek comfort on my Western ways again and did what any sulking American would...I made a beeline for the closest KFC (albeit passing by the Dunkin Donuts on the way). Luckily, the short jaunt pressed sense into me and I settled for a Beng Beng detour. Mmmmm...
Refocused and ready to conquer the day (Beng Bengs effect me much like Wheaties)I studied my Thai phrase book and approached the ticket counter ready for a war of words. Although the war wasn't necessary, I did successfully navigate getting myself on the next bus which would arrive in Uttaradit the following day. Good enough.
Settled back in with the high heel goers and the flourescent lights of the endless 7 Elevens, I crossed my fingers hoping my hand would soon be raised to take victory over this day.
...and 8 hours (and 5 random stops in the middle of the night later), I claimed victory over 11/19/2010 as I watched sun rise and the eles trumpet to welcome me to the most peaceful place on earth. A place where love (and food) is served on platters as nourishment for the soul, high heels are nonexistent, Bengs Bengs aren't needed as stress is limited, and the time the world stops is to fully embrace the peace and joy pulsating through the veins of these once pained and scarred pure souls. A place where days like yesterday fade away b/c in the end, all that matters is the present.
Peace,
Me
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It's time I confess...
Hello. My name is Alaina, and I'm...well, I'm an addict. I feel it's best that I not mess with my karma while I'm out here, and so after battling a moral dilemma to face my demons publicly or not, I have decided to let you all know I'm addicted to (wait for it)...scootering. There. I said it. Take me or leave me as I am. Thd choice is yours.
It bit me like one of the hundreds of Mosquitos here on this island, and yet
it was so much more sneaky. I was simply lying there, restless on the beach, attempting to fit in with the rest of the westerners as we all were competing (silently of course) to achieve the best, most bass-ass watch tan, when I heard something calling my name. It was summoning me much in the sAme way that Herbie (right?) summoned his victim. I lost all control and before I knew it I fully clothed again, saddling up, strapping on my shiny red helmet (imagine the least cool beetle looking bucket-like piece of plastic you can muster up), and revving the engine to what seemed like the sexiest grrrrrowl ever (I know it was really more of a gurggle but work with me here).
"Good morning, Commander. My name is, Matilda. Name you poison today, Rocky."
yes, she spoke to me. Matilda was such the perfect blend of "I mean business" and, "I'm z total tool so don't take me too seriously." a
Aha! just like me! We clicked. We sped up
and down the coastline, weaving b/w traffic like I was born to drive on the left side of the road, politely tooting my horn to warn people of the inexperienced manic about to overtake them. We only had one, (well two really if you count me almost swerving off the road to dodge the elephant dung) "close calls" which i would brag is a decent record. Simply put,
Matilda and I were one for the past 8 hours. Which, technically speaking, means she's still mine for another 16 hours. This would explain why I haven't yet forked over the keys back to the rightful owner. I mean, What if I decide at 3am that we need to bond again or that I need a BengBeng fix (if you haven't had one, put it on your bucket list...now. Really, go on. I'll wait) at the closest 7/11. I mean, the oppotunitites for another fix (ahem, I mean ride) b/w now and when I leave the dear island at 7am are endless. So for now, I'll hold the key to Matilda's engine since she seems to have stolen the key to mine.
It bit me like one of the hundreds of Mosquitos here on this island, and yet
it was so much more sneaky. I was simply lying there, restless on the beach, attempting to fit in with the rest of the westerners as we all were competing (silently of course) to achieve the best, most bass-ass watch tan, when I heard something calling my name. It was summoning me much in the sAme way that Herbie (right?) summoned his victim. I lost all control and before I knew it I fully clothed again, saddling up, strapping on my shiny red helmet (imagine the least cool beetle looking bucket-like piece of plastic you can muster up), and revving the engine to what seemed like the sexiest grrrrrowl ever (I know it was really more of a gurggle but work with me here).
"Good morning, Commander. My name is, Matilda. Name you poison today, Rocky."
yes, she spoke to me. Matilda was such the perfect blend of "I mean business" and, "I'm z total tool so don't take me too seriously." a
Aha! just like me! We clicked. We sped up
and down the coastline, weaving b/w traffic like I was born to drive on the left side of the road, politely tooting my horn to warn people of the inexperienced manic about to overtake them. We only had one, (well two really if you count me almost swerving off the road to dodge the elephant dung) "close calls" which i would brag is a decent record. Simply put,
Matilda and I were one for the past 8 hours. Which, technically speaking, means she's still mine for another 16 hours. This would explain why I haven't yet forked over the keys back to the rightful owner. I mean, What if I decide at 3am that we need to bond again or that I need a BengBeng fix (if you haven't had one, put it on your bucket list...now. Really, go on. I'll wait) at the closest 7/11. I mean, the oppotunitites for another fix (ahem, I mean ride) b/w now and when I leave the dear island at 7am are endless. So for now, I'll hold the key to Matilda's engine since she seems to have stolen the key to mine.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Soften your face, soften a heart
I have come to the conclusion that it's nearly impossible to feel lonely in a place where everyone smiles at you. Children, women, men, cats, malnourished dogs, thd rich and the poor. I never thought I'd actually feel the depth of the saying" a smile is worth a thousand words." that is, until today.
My hour + (one way) walk into the main town, Ban Saladan, today proved to be one of the mist heartwarming afternoons I have encountered since entering dear Thailand. Dripping with sweat (although I much prefer to say I "glisten") I continued to trudge up the dusty main road along the coastline in hopes of tracking down an artist whose work I fell in love with a few days prior. Although I did in the end find him (and his soul candy) later, it was not that end goal that provided the most reward. In fact, the most happiness came in the form of a disarray of street stalls overflowing with fresh vegetables, meats, fish, and god knows what else, while Thai music blasted from a makeshift stage and hundreds of childen frollicked and played about in what most readily seemed comparable to some sort of carnival. Granted, a "carnival" here is nothing like that back home so I urge you to envision just a small parcel of land on the side of a road piled high with food stalls, cheap toys, and...endless smiles. I mean genuine, authentic, open and heartwarming smiles. I have often been in a room full of people I know quite well, and still felt completely an utterly alone before. Today though, it couldn't have been more opposite. There I was, completely surrounded by strangers and never once did I feel out of place. That feeling, was worth a thousand words, and yet at the same I was/am rendered nearly speechless.
No matter The sadness or despair we may encounter in our lives, I urge you to remember to smile. Smile b/c you can, b/c you deserve to, and b/c your smile (even without you knowing) brings joy to this world. Warm a heart...if even for only a day.
My hour + (one way) walk into the main town, Ban Saladan, today proved to be one of the mist heartwarming afternoons I have encountered since entering dear Thailand. Dripping with sweat (although I much prefer to say I "glisten") I continued to trudge up the dusty main road along the coastline in hopes of tracking down an artist whose work I fell in love with a few days prior. Although I did in the end find him (and his soul candy) later, it was not that end goal that provided the most reward. In fact, the most happiness came in the form of a disarray of street stalls overflowing with fresh vegetables, meats, fish, and god knows what else, while Thai music blasted from a makeshift stage and hundreds of childen frollicked and played about in what most readily seemed comparable to some sort of carnival. Granted, a "carnival" here is nothing like that back home so I urge you to envision just a small parcel of land on the side of a road piled high with food stalls, cheap toys, and...endless smiles. I mean genuine, authentic, open and heartwarming smiles. I have often been in a room full of people I know quite well, and still felt completely an utterly alone before. Today though, it couldn't have been more opposite. There I was, completely surrounded by strangers and never once did I feel out of place. That feeling, was worth a thousand words, and yet at the same I was/am rendered nearly speechless.
No matter The sadness or despair we may encounter in our lives, I urge you to remember to smile. Smile b/c you can, b/c you deserve to, and b/c your smile (even without you knowing) brings joy to this world. Warm a heart...if even for only a day.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Koh Lanta seeping in...
Ahhhh...nothing like sunshine to feed and nourish the soul! I was wakened this morning by mothers nature's most beautiful alarm clock (the birds) as they conversed about their plans for the day. I wandered out from my bungalow and was immersed in the most breathtaking scene i have witnessed in along time; so breathtaking indeed that i sat in the hammock (outside my door) for almost an hour just relishing in the beauty this world provides. The sun was brightly shining, the sea perfectly periwinkle and glistening, and the ocean gently humming a sweet sound of relaxation.
I eventually realized I would need to move at some point today, and so I ventured to the open air restaurant here at Baan Phu Lae where I was gifted the most amazing papaya salad and fresh cup of cofffee. There's really nothing quite like eating breakfast on the beach. I highly recommend it. And so my day has been limited in physical activity (though my tan is coming along quite nicely, if I do say so) but not in mindful rumination. I am slowly realizing that if you don't sometimes take the moments to be alone, to feel isolation w/in yourself, you can never really fully appreciate and completely experience all that is around and in you each and everyday. And today, as I was contemplating this more, I was also (by no freak coincidence, I believe), strikingly taught by one of the locals here about the 4th level of human consciousness called turiya. I myself am fairly certain I will never reach this place (takes an incredible amount of diligent mindfullness and meditation, though I found the basis and meaning of it resonated deeply in me. It seems to me, that so often us Westerners search for happiness everywhere (in malls, in relationships, in self-help books, drugs, alcohol, unaware that in fact it resides right inside ourselves already. The catch comes in claiming it. Turiya is the state you reach when you leave the busy commotion of the mind, abandon the desires of our ego, and allow ourselves to enter (and sit) in the silence of the heart. A beautiful and powerful notion that, like me, I'll allow you sit on for awhile.
Until another (hopefully sunny) day!
Peace,
Me
I eventually realized I would need to move at some point today, and so I ventured to the open air restaurant here at Baan Phu Lae where I was gifted the most amazing papaya salad and fresh cup of cofffee. There's really nothing quite like eating breakfast on the beach. I highly recommend it. And so my day has been limited in physical activity (though my tan is coming along quite nicely, if I do say so) but not in mindful rumination. I am slowly realizing that if you don't sometimes take the moments to be alone, to feel isolation w/in yourself, you can never really fully appreciate and completely experience all that is around and in you each and everyday. And today, as I was contemplating this more, I was also (by no freak coincidence, I believe), strikingly taught by one of the locals here about the 4th level of human consciousness called turiya. I myself am fairly certain I will never reach this place (takes an incredible amount of diligent mindfullness and meditation, though I found the basis and meaning of it resonated deeply in me. It seems to me, that so often us Westerners search for happiness everywhere (in malls, in relationships, in self-help books, drugs, alcohol, unaware that in fact it resides right inside ourselves already. The catch comes in claiming it. Turiya is the state you reach when you leave the busy commotion of the mind, abandon the desires of our ego, and allow ourselves to enter (and sit) in the silence of the heart. A beautiful and powerful notion that, like me, I'll allow you sit on for awhile.
Until another (hopefully sunny) day!
Peace,
Me
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Bangkok and beyond
Ok folks... So maybe it took me an hour or so to figure out how to get into my account in English, but it's not like I don't have hours to kill before I catch a 12 hr bus to Krabi tonight. I should be arriving in Krabi around 8 am tomorrow (11/10) morning and from there will catch the passenger ferry to Koh Lanta @ around 9am. It looks like I'm in for a couple of rainy days but hey, I'll take it over the snow and ice pounding vt right now.
It's 4:15pm on 11/9 here in Bangkok and the clouds have just begun to roll in. I spent my last day here exploring the Golden Mountain and climbing all 300 steps (finally some exercise!). The top provided incredibly rewarding views of the entire city, albeit bustling under a dense cloud of smog and fog (never can tell which is which). Wat Saket Rajavaramahavihara is a peaceful temple where the Buddha's relics have been placed and prayer is a daily occurence here for many Thai. And while this temple was again, like many others, nothing short of breathtaking, I believe my greatest feat in today's journey was successfully arguing my way (in Thai mind you)out if being (almost) ripped off my a tuk-tuk (pronounced touk touk). That's right, I may be an American female that's looks easy to take advantage i
of, but this gal learns quick so...yeah...that's right. Clearly my "tough guise" needs some fine-tuning.
The past couple of days here have brought endless stories and experiences. From arriving in Bangkok @ 1am (not recommended), to venturing through the Grand Palace and the Emerald Buddha, to getting thrown off the bus after dark (alert!) and being lost in a neighborhood where no one spoke a lick of English (sorry mom and sad, I held back on mentioning this one to you), it's been on heck of a ride already. So tonight I say "see you later" (never goodbye) tithe REAL city that never sleeps (the stereo wars here are particularly incredible on KhaoSahn Rd) and I venture towards the island of Koh Lanta. My mind feels more sound each day, my heart more honest, and spirit more humble. So I say " korp khun ka" to all the amazing Thai people that have assisted and welcomed me with open arms these past couple days, and I turn to all of you just waking and say "ah-gaht dee na" (what a beautiful day)!
P.s. This was written from my iPhone so please excuse any "big finger" typos and try to stumble through it as best you can.
San-di-pahp(peace),
Me
It's 4:15pm on 11/9 here in Bangkok and the clouds have just begun to roll in. I spent my last day here exploring the Golden Mountain and climbing all 300 steps (finally some exercise!). The top provided incredibly rewarding views of the entire city, albeit bustling under a dense cloud of smog and fog (never can tell which is which). Wat Saket Rajavaramahavihara is a peaceful temple where the Buddha's relics have been placed and prayer is a daily occurence here for many Thai. And while this temple was again, like many others, nothing short of breathtaking, I believe my greatest feat in today's journey was successfully arguing my way (in Thai mind you)out if being (almost) ripped off my a tuk-tuk (pronounced touk touk). That's right, I may be an American female that's looks easy to take advantage i
of, but this gal learns quick so...yeah...that's right. Clearly my "tough guise" needs some fine-tuning.
The past couple of days here have brought endless stories and experiences. From arriving in Bangkok @ 1am (not recommended), to venturing through the Grand Palace and the Emerald Buddha, to getting thrown off the bus after dark (alert!) and being lost in a neighborhood where no one spoke a lick of English (sorry mom and sad, I held back on mentioning this one to you), it's been on heck of a ride already. So tonight I say "see you later" (never goodbye) tithe REAL city that never sleeps (the stereo wars here are particularly incredible on KhaoSahn Rd) and I venture towards the island of Koh Lanta. My mind feels more sound each day, my heart more honest, and spirit more humble. So I say " korp khun ka" to all the amazing Thai people that have assisted and welcomed me with open arms these past couple days, and I turn to all of you just waking and say "ah-gaht dee na" (what a beautiful day)!
P.s. This was written from my iPhone so please excuse any "big finger" typos and try to stumble through it as best you can.
San-di-pahp(peace),
Me
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
In the beginning...
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